Years (decades) ago, I tried my hand at selling Mary Kay. They really did like monthly get togethers and in one of these gatherings, my mentor said, “don’t say it’s been terrible, say it’s been unbelievable.”

I have remembered that all this time later.

Words matter.

A little backstory, husband’s mother, father, sister and niece live with us. Our house has an apartment at the top so it is effectively a duplex. When we bought the house, the idea was one day the parents would need care and so, we helped them sell their house and bought this enormous one. They wanted to live upstairs, so we got the downstairs. They have their own private entrance as well as an entrance from our downstairs area. The only thing we share inside the house is the laundry room. There is more to it, but that is the gist that you need to know for our story here.

Right before New Year’s eve, my MIL (mother-in-law) was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. I haven’t always had the best relationship with my ILs (in-laws), but I never wished this on her or them. She had a tumor on her spine that literally broke one of the vertebrae, tumors in her lungs and some in her lymph nodes.

In spite of all of this, the drs had a good outlook for her. Boy, have cancer therapies changed since the my last experience with it.

They did the things and the her spine healed, the lung tumors shrank, but she was still having issues breathing. They kept saying “it’s not the lung cancer…” without actually telling us what the issue was.

Because of her breathing, she was put on oxygen and had some home health ppl come in (a nurse and a physical therapist). We were advised that she should be walking with a walker in case she gets light headed just keep an eye on her O2 levels.

However, she refused to wear the oxygen when she went to the bathroom. She always took it off to go and refused to use the walker. We were scared of her O2 levels making her pass out, but wanting to keep in mind her need for privacy/independence so we got her a doorbell…the kind that elementary school teachers use in their classrooms. she could hit the bell and we would come up.

Last Monday a week ago, she didn’t hit the bell. We heard a thud and knew right away she fell. We rush up the stairs and Mr Ghost (Mr G) can’t open the door. She apparently fell in front of it (which is right in front of their bathroom) and unresponsive. I dart around the house and go up the back way into their area. She was face down on the floor.

The only good thing is I could hear her breathing, but she was completely out of it. Mumbling at best no matter how much we called her name and shook her arm. I move her feet so Mr G can get in and we start calling 911 and trying to get her alert.

Eventually she half wakes up, insisting she is fine in spite of the 5 or so minute of being unconscious and a bloody face, but she can’t sit up or really move. The rescue squad arrives and does their thing and carries her to the hospital.

Long story short, her O2 dropped so far she passed out. We think, well we just need to make sure she has it on all the time, start making other plans for when she gets home and wait for all the testing to be done at the hospital to make sure she didn’t actually have a stroke or brain bleed. We knew she had a concussion, and the drs decided to keep her for observation.

Later, the Physicians Assistant (PA) decides to take a closer look at her lungs wanting to know why her oxygen was so messed up. She thought maybe she had a blood clot. This isn’t unexpected as MIL has blockages in almost all of her main arteries/veins, especially the ones in her neck. They do all the things and do ultrasound on her neck to see if the blockages are affecting how much O2 is getting to her brain.

What they find is not clots, but fluid around the outside of her lungs. She can’t get enough O2 because her lungs can’t expand enough to get any in. They drain the fluid…800ml in one side, over 600 in the other.

We think, well we just need to watch out for that in the future, they though it was inadequately treated pneumonia so…just have to be vigilant.

Then comes the brick to the face. They are going to test the fluid to see what is going on. It could be the pneumonia, but… the biggest concern now is that her cancer is actually on the outside (?) of her lungs causing the fluid. If that is the case, there is no hope. Treatment will be stopped and comfort measures started.

Mr G doesn’t have hope his mother will be home again.

We are still awaiting results. Apparently it can take a day or two. We will see.

But…a  lot of this puts so much stress on you that you can’t think to write, or breathe. It’s hard to carry on like nothing is wrong when things are, in fact, wrong. My priority is Mr G and the Ghost Kids. I have been trying my best to make their own lives comfortable and stress free as much as I can. And, since I need to write, I guess I will write about this.

We are just waiting for that call.